Ep. 53 Fiascos, Setbacks and the Value of Surrender

Over the past few weeks, I've reconnected with that emotional roller coaster that I experienced when I was leading my first startup through Seed Stage. Only this time it's more personal. I live in Portland, Oregon with my wonderful wife and awesome kid, and the two cats that they love, and I..um...tolerate. We have a nice little house. It's been great for sixteen years. Until this year. This year has been a cascade of crises, fiascos, grinding effort and soul crushing defeats. It started with a main water line leak that was spiking our water bills. Ok, get a plumber over to fix. Oops, plumber accidentally drills through our sewer line and we get sewer water backing up into our basement. Fiasco. After that got fixed. Shingles came off the roof in a wind storm. Time for a new roof. Ugh. Then last month, our kiddo, who has had really intense medical issues over the past four years, started feeling unwell any time the air conditioning came on. And it's 100 degrees outside. My wife and kid move to a hotel. We get the air conditioning guy over to the house, and he looks at the AC coil and it's filled yucky gunk. Ok, clean that out and reinstall. Things seem good for three weeks. Then our kiddo starts feeling unwell in the house again. AC coil is getting gunked up again, so we replace it. All's well for two days. Then kid starts feeling unwell again. Let me just confess that at this point, I am no longer handling this as gracefully as the wise coach I present to the world. :} Back to the hotel. This past week, got the air ducts cleaned and sanitized. Got mold air testing and indoor air quality testing done. Both tests come back clean. But now, it's not just my kid, my wife and I are feeling unwell when we are in the house. We deep clean the carpets in case it's that. Nope no difference. Feeling worse in the house. We are having a succession of mold and air quality experts over to try to figure it out. We've ruled out some stuff but have not identified the problem. Current theory is it's in the walls somewhere. Having people come out with moisture meters and infrared cameras. And to potentially drill holes in the wall and take a look. Our family is now relocated to a local Residence Inn, in a little two bedroom suite. even the two cats. One of which is now hiding under a weird impossible to reach nook in the hotel room kitchen. You would think by now, I'd be pulling my hair out and extraordinarily stressed out. But at some point, I surrendered to the fact that this is happening. Not that I'm not doing everything I can fix the situation. But I've let go of emotional baggage of it all. Yes the money is adding up and it's painful. But that's why we have an emergency fund. And this is a legit use of it. Yes, I'm frustrated with the upheaval we enduring as a family - especially a family who has been through a hellish gauntlet with our kiddo's health for the past four years. But, emotionally I'm doing fine. There's a value to a certain kind of surrender. Not the giving up kind of surrender. But the letting go of the "this can't possibly be happening to me/us" thoughts has freed me up to just deal with shit and get on with it. It's all a good analogy for the Founder Journey. Surrendering is not giving up. Detachment doesn't mean not caring. In this week's Rocket Ship Founder Podcast Episode, I talk about the value of surrender when navigating the inevitable challenges of Founder life. I cover: What it means to surrender without giving up How to get yourself to a healthy (or healthy as possible) place during setbacks How to get perspective in the midst of the grind This 14-minute listen...