when love turns toxic: bpd traits and the favorite person or "FP" phenomenon

The “favorite person” (FP) relationship is one of the most talked-about dynamics in the BPD community—often described as “two people dancing an unconscious dance.” For those who identify with symptoms commonly associated with borderline personality disorder (EUPD), unresolved trauma can create a cycle of idealizing and devaluing others, especially those we hold closest. This “favorite person” can easily become the anchor of our world, and yet, relying on one person for identity and emotional stability isn’t sustainable.In this episode, we’ll explore the roots of the FP dynamic, looking at how trauma shapes these intense connections and how they impact our self-worth. Most importantly, I’ll share strategies to help you disentangle from this pattern and start building a secure sense of self—one that doesn’t depend on anyone else to feel whole. This journey is about learning to become your own “favorite person,” embracing the stability and confidence that come with true self-connection.In this episode, we’ll answer some of the most common questions about “favorite person” relationships in the context of BPD traits, including:What does “FP” stand for, and what is its meaning in the BPD community?How does “splitting” affect dynamics in an FP relationship?How can you cope with the loss of an FP?How does having a “favorite person” impact someone who identifies with BPD traits?What does a typical FP relationship look like?What are the stages of the BPD relationship cycle?What are the risks of an FP relationship, especially regarding codependency and abandonment fears?How can you transform an FP relationship from toxic to healthy?What role does paranoia (including fears of infidelity) play in FP relationships?How does BPD influence one’s sense of identity?How can voice dialogue techniques support the healthy expression of anger?Recommended resources: Healing the Shame that Binds You by John BradshawCraving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.