228 : Discover your Fear Fantasy

Intro TeaserToday I want to tell you about Kate and her Fear Fantasy. She was an IC at a large mortgage company, had been there for years, she worked hard, harder than her colleagues and at most times harder than her boss. And every year when it was time for her performance conversation, she would pump herself up to have a conversation with her boss.  She knew she deserved the promotion, BUT she was consumed by the fear, potential rejection and judgment she thought her boss would have waiting for her if she brought it up. This perceived fear consumed her and held her back from getting what she truly deserved. Welcome to Kate’s Fear Fantasy.INTRO:Hey, thanks for tuning in to the Corporate Yogi podcast, I’m your host Julie Zuzek. This pod is YOUR dedicated time for growth, developing practical tools to use with your team and other relationships and to learning deeply about who you are and what makes you tick! Because you are a brilliant and powerful being and I want you to invest more time reflecting on WHO are being, not just WHAT you are doing. Doing is awesome, but BEING, well that is where the magic happens and what makes you truly feel fulfilled. You’re going to love this episode on Fear Fantasies and discovering whether or not you have one. So here’s a look at what you’re going to learn today 1 – In the first segment I’ll explain exactly what a Fear Fantasy is2 – Then in the second segment I explain how they are so paralyzing 3 – And in the last segment I’ll share how to overcome your Fear Fantasy, so it doesn’t completely keep you stuckSo get out of your head, into your heart and let’s dive right in, shall we.     SEGMENT 1Fear fantasies are stories we create that allow us to stay small and stay stuck. They justify us not acting and allowing our fear to be greater than our desire. I want to start by telling you a story about Kate and her Fear Fantasy about asking for a promotion. You see, Kate was in her role for years. She was an IC at a large mortgage company and had been there for years. She worked hard, so very hard, harder than her colleagues and at most times even harder than her boss. And every year when it was time for her performance conversation with her boss, she would START with the same excited thoughts running through her head. This is the year that I am ready for a promotion. I know I’m ready, I deserve it, I can do the work and I’m ready to break through to the next level. And yet every year, no matter how much she pumped herself up, she never actually went through with it and initiated the promotion with her boss. She never had the conversation with her boss about getting promoted, or if she did, it was watered down and lacklustre and she didn’t even really try. She was consumed by the fear, potential rejection and judgment she thought her boss would have waiting for her if she brought it up. This perceived fear consumed her, and she held onto it so tightly. This was her Fear Fantasy. It’s as if the disappointment of being stuck and not asking for what she wanted became more familiar and more comfortable to her, it was part of what kept her stuck. Fear fantasies are normal and more common than we think. It’s so easy to spot them in other people and call them out, but when they’re our fear fantasy, they feel real and all consuming, we don’t feel like we have any other options. Common fear fantasies happen around promotions and career, around pitching or sharing an idea in a meeting, around asking for people to be our champion or advocate on our behalf. It boils down to advocation on our own behalf or asking someone else to advocate for us. As leaders it’s so easy and second nature for us to champion our team members, but when it comes to self-promotion, we often struggle, and haven’t always built the same...