How To Self-Regulate Your Emotions In 3 Steps

In this episode of the Everyday EQ podcast, I discuss the second component of emotional intelligence, self-regulation (also referred to as self-management). Tune in as I teach you my three steps self-regulating your emotions effectively. In our 30+ minutes together, I'll walk you through exercises that help you understand how your emotions manifest specifically to you, and how to easily discover the true emotions that are triggering you (sometimes they're not what you think they are...). Plus, I'm sharing the number 1 pitfall to avoid when self-regulating. IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT. Like, fr fr. I cover A LOT in this episode, so get comfortable and let's dive in.1:04 - Introducing self-regulation, the second component of emotional intelligence, and how it relates to the first component of EQ, self-awareness.2:55 - Breaking down the definition of self-regulation5:47 - Here are my 3 steps to self-regulate your emotions.6:14 - Step 1: Familiarize yourself with how your emotions present themselves7:49 - One easy way to develop awareness around how your emotions manifest.9:28 - Talkin' 'bout some triggers. What they are, why they happen, and what in the tarnation is happening to our emotions during one.12:42 - Why it's so challenging to be emotionally intelligent and self-aware when you're getting triggered13:02 - Step 2: Diffuse these triggers and emotionally challenging situations. Here's how to do that in a 5-minute exercise.17:00 - Step 3: Understand your options to self-regulate in real time and shift the dynamic to create better feeling emotions. 17:12 - This is the ultimate goal of self-regulation and will be your focus when self-regulating in real time.17:52 - Here are three ways that you can self-regulate your emotions in the moment.18:01 - Option 1: Remove yourself and recalibrate18:39 - Recalibration can include the trigger diffusing exercise, and it can also include these other things.19:00 - The benefit of recalibration: Identifying patterns of triggers so that you can heal, integrate, and resolve them.20:11 - Option 2: Proactively shift the dynamic.20:48 - Soon, processing emotions in real-time like this will be easy peezy lemon squeezy. 21:31 - Option 3: Monitor your emotional state and don't succumb to emotional baiting.23:03 - But what is "emotional baiting"?23:56 - A key factor in self-regulation is feeling like you have control over an emotional situation. 25:05 - This is how you gain back your command when you feel out of control.27:10 - Also DON'T DO THIS when trying to self-regulate. (Seriously, if you listen to nothing else in this episode, listen to this.)27:35 - Your ego is like a drug hit. 29:12 - How the ego uses external validation to trick you into believing it's helping.29:32 - Examples of external validation and why they don't work.31:10 - Recapping today's lesson on how to self-regulate your emotionsAs always, if you have questions about emotional intelligence or anything that you heard on this episode, please reach out to me at info [at] theceqo [dot] com. Thanks for listening!