Listening Others Into Existence with Douglas E. Noll

Dr. Nathan Regier welcomes Douglas E. Noll to today’s episode. Doug has stumbled upon a communication strategy that is changing lives around the world, from boardrooms to prisons. Doug is a business and commercial trial lawyer who teaches people to bring compassion even to the most difficult places.  For his innovative work, Doug Noll has been voted as one of the Best Lawyers in America since 2005, by US News & World Report and has been recognized since 2006 as a Northern California Super Lawyer. He is listed in the Who’s Who of International Commercial Mediators. He has been honored as Lawyer of the Year in 2014 by Best Lawyers in America. In 2014, Doug was honored as a Purpose Prize Fellow by Encore.org. In 2018, Doug was named the Distinguished Neutral of the Year by The National Academy of Distinguished Neutrals. Along with his colleague Laurel Kaufer, Doug Noll was named California Attorney of the Year in 2012 for their pro bono Prison of Peace project. Doug Noll is the author of the book De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less, which was the winner of the Book Excellence Award for 2017. Today, Doug is sharing the methodology outlined in his book called Listening Others into Existence, a counterintuitive method that is backed by science and proven to be effective in deescalating even the most charged situations.  Key Takeaways: [2:21] Doug shares his journey from being a lawyer to becoming a peacemaker.  [6:00] Doug talks about his experience when conflict infects workplaces. [8:03] We learn conflict patterns at a very young age. [9:09] Doug gives an overview on how he discovered his deescalating method. [10:55] Doug talks about how he found the bases of his methodology in neuroscience. [12:21] Doug realized he needed to help people start “listening to the emotions”. [13:55] Doug explains why his method works based on what happens on the brain when you level someone’s emotions. [17:22] Doug dives deep into where emotions come from.  [19:58] How does “Listening others into existence” work? [22:18] We have been lied about our human nature, we believed humans are distinguished because of their rationality, but in fact humans are 98% emotional and only 2% rational. [24:31] There is not such thing about rationality, it is a complete myth. [25:33] Doug describes the three step process of his technique. [26:00] Nate and Doug try the technique while Nate shares a personal experience. [27:58] Listening is no conversation. [28:54] Nate and Doug try the technique with a negative experience he recently had. [33:13] Doug talks about the work he has been doing in prison. [38:49] Nate shares his three top takeaways from a powerful conversation with Doug Noll.      Mentioned in this episode: The Compassion Mindset Visit Doug Noll’s Website and access amazing resources.   Click to read Full Transcript