Angi Is Probably Going to Get Sued for Slander - ATS - 8.13.24

Welcome to the brightest show this side of Times Square (not brains obviously, I'm talking about lighting.) That's right, we are coming right out the gate with a take so hot, you'd think it was going to live forever (a little teaser for the other part of these notes.) So Michael earned his first taste of Angi insanity when he suggested that the world needs a new Mr. Rogers and of course, this upset our unhinged hostess greatly. After all, there is a place in the world for these great souls like Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross (shout out to his up and coming replacement, Yazan Spice.) Anyway, Angi sighed because she grew up in a world of trust no one and more so, do not trust them if they seem too wholesome for this world. Buckle up kids, we're entering slander territory for her and libel for me for writing out her deranged word vomiting. You see, she feels as though there is something innately sinister about that deceased good guy next door Mr. Rogers. After all, who in their right mind as a parent would let their kids go hang out next door with a single man who has a bunch of puppets in his house (don't worry, trolley gets it too.) That one kid who was always there feeding the fish, what was Mr. Rogers fed him afterwards! Marris, one of the two people in the studio who knew that this was a TV show and not real life (as I'm assuming Angi assumed,) said that nothing happened. Well, Angi was not buying that and she continued down the path of slanderation. We weighed how he had a long career and nothing was said but Angi said it was more about not besmirching his name (which makes know sense because everyone loves to cancel others.) Angi directed her point then to saying intern HP knows if someone is bad and even though Marris explained that nothing has ever been said about Fred Rogers, Angi pulled out her next unhinged point. It is not okay to send kids next door to play with a single man's fish, puppets and train which I'm assuming were all supposed to be euphemisms. As she pointed out, he was trying to pull a choo choo train on you. This then transitioned to coming for the mailman and Mr. Rogers "allegedly" (I'm not going down for this one Angi) having a van with a Playstation and candy in it. She made a point saying that whenever someone is too good to be true, there's always a scandal attached to it like how Mr. Beast is currently going down or remember how Mother Teresa would beat those girls. The moment that sweater went on and those kids came over, his pants grew three sizes that day. As Marris explained how all scandal ridden children come to light like those Barney brats and the Nickelodeon kids who got their toes sucked by that disgusting pig showrunner. No one has come out against Mr. Rogers but Angi explained they are all secretly in a group with the Michael Jackson kids and they're all trying to just protect his legacy. We ended this non-stop train of getting us plenty of mad people and phone calls from estates by having Angi go after Bozo as well even though she had to be reminded that his name was not "that scary ass clown." In fact, she doesn't trust any adults in a costume that entertains kids (and this is after she got felt up by Southpaw on Friday and plotted a threesome with Benny the Bull and Tommy Hawk.)