240. Overcome Societal Expectations of “You're Not Enough" With Wellness Coach Ali Sempek

Have you ever felt that you just don't look right? That You’re not enough. You should take up less room. Be quieter. Most women really tend to feel this is when it comes to food and weight. Today's guest helps women heal from all of the societal expectations thrown at us. Ali Sempek is an Internationally Certified Wellness Coach and Founder/CEO of her own women’s empowerment company, Ask Coach Ali. After a decade of disordered eating, she’s changing the narrative of what healthy looks like by helping women transform their relationships with food and who they see in the mirror. Ali says we live in an action-based society. Do this and get something in return. You do this diet and you'll get this fat loss. You do these things in a relationship and you'll get married. What happens when you do and do and do and do, and you never get the result that you want, or one that's not long lasting? “If you're not getting what you want, you've got to go all the way back and say, how am I thinking? What is my mindset around this,” says Ali. “Whether it's about limiting beliefs or it's about how I'm showing up in the world or what I think we've been even capable of.” Ali asks her clients to look at who taught them, or what experience taught them. Your thoughts impact your feelings, your feeling impact your actions, you actions impact your results. We have become a society that is starting to be more open to mental health, to therapists, to psychologists, to that realm. But there is no one that's in the middle. There's no one that says, “Yes, you might have a lot of areas we need to work on, but you can also love yourself in the interim.” You're allowed to have the “and” not just the “either or.” Ali says as a coach, she looks at right now to find the reason you're not getting what you want. She recognizes as a wellness coach the reason is probably painful, restrictive or punishing in some contexts.  “I'm going to say something that might be a little triggering to some people. I find it hilarious that as women, we outsource our intuition to men,” says Ali. “We're outsourcing to men who are trying to help with our hormones, with our relationship to our bodies, our relationship to food. And I just want to shake everybody and go, but they're not a woman. They haven't had the same experiences that you are having.” We are constantly being told as women what we should be, what we shouldn't be, how we should eat, how we should act, how we should talk. Society is constantly telling us what's wrong with us. And then offering, saying, “here, but buy this and we will help you fix it.” It teach us that it's our fault, that we are the broken ones, that we need to be fixed. And the only way to be fixed is to buy into the system. But why would it ever want to heal you, Ali asks. “Investing in yourself is the only knowledge and tool and resource that no one can ever take away from you,” says Ali. We can’t avoid the pressure that is thrown at us. We can't avoid the truth of those conversations and the impact that it's had on each of us. “I always say curiosity over judgment, always,” says Ali. “You cannot feel curious and judgmental at the same time. Rather than judging yourself, why did I do that? … Get curious about who you are and where that's coming from because that's going to give you a lot more feedback for the future rather than continually keep you stuck.” Connect with Ali Sempek: https://www.askcoachali.com   Mentioned: You Are a Goddess by Sophie Bashford: https://amzn.to/3SdDaWy  Other GoG episodes you might want to check out: What’s Causing The Results You Have Right Now? https://sarahwalton.com/causing-results/  Demand What You Need https://sarahwalton.com/demand/  You can check out our podcast interviews on YouTube, too! http://bit.ly/YouTubeSWalton   Thank you so much for listening. I’m so honored that you’re here and would be so grateful if you could leave a quick review on Apple Podcasts by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, and clicking “Write a review.” Then we’ll get to inspire even more people! (If you’re not sure how to leave a review, you can watch this quick tutorial.) #DefyingExpectations #SocietalPressure #HealthCoach #FoodCoaching #wellness #SocietyExpectations #SelfConfidence #AskExpert #BusinessCoach #IntuitiveBusinessCoach