Can Separation Save (or Cost You) a Marriage?

You want to save your marriage.  Your spouse seems to only want to destroy it.  That is a pretty common scenario for people who visit my website. And so, I often have the question asked, "Should we separate?  Will a separation save my marriage?" Can a separation save a marriage? Short answer:  yes, it can. Longer answer:  a separation can save a marriage, but it is statistically unlikely.  And in my experience, a separation is a step in the wrong direction. Some recent statistics show that around 79% of couples who separate end up divorced.  In other words, 8 out of every 10 couples who separate will divorce. I view separation as an absolute last resort to save a marriage.  It is, in my opinion, that unlikely to help. But here is the thing:  if you are stuck in a conflicted and hurting marriage, it can be a very appealing solution.  And yes, you can find "fans" of separation.  There are people who tell you it is an important step in restoring a marriage. Those people are ignoring the statistics. They are appealing to your sense of relief that can come from a break in the conflict. More often than not, a separation amounts to a “trial divorce." But are there better solutions?  Absolutely. Here is one. In this podcast training, I tell you why separation is problematic -- so that you understand that.  I also tell you how to structure a separation, if it is inevitable and a last resort.  Listen below for help with separation.   RESOURCES: Article on Separating Save The Marriage System Virtual Coaching Program (IF you have the System)