“It shouldn’t be this hard!” (And Other Lies We Tell About Marriage)

Far from the first time, he turned to me in the middle of a session and said, "See? It just shouldn't be this hard.  That is why I know this marriage is wrong.  If it were right, we wouldn't struggle like this." I had to admit... they were struggling.  It was difficult.  BUT, the struggle did not prove the marriage was wrong.  It did demonstrate that the way they were interacting was not good for the relationship (or for either of the two people in my office). What it did not prove was that the marriage was wrong. Quick stat.  Do you have any idea what percent of marriages have difficulties and struggles? Here is the answer... if you haven't guessed:  100% Yep.  All of them. Somewhere around 50% figure out how to move through the struggle or stick it out, in spite of the struggle. That's just one of the lies we tell about marriages.  Not that people mean to lie.  They just say what they believe... which is a lie (or based on a lie).  Let me tell you four of the bigger lies people tell (themselves) in this episode of the podcast. RELATED RESOURCES: Why It Matters Feel Like Quitting Myths of Marriage Save The Marriage System