Marriage Lie #1: “If It’s Work, It’s Wrong”

“I give up,” he said, throwing up his arms.  He was ready to leave the session.  But before he walked out, I asked, “Can you tell me what just happened? Why are you giving up?" He told me, “Look, we have struggled during this marriage.  Not just now.  Other times.  I just believe that if you are struggling in a marriage… if things aren’t just moving forward… it isn’t meant to be.  It’s wrong.”  And he turned to leave. I responded, “Well, that’s a big fat lie you are believing!" He stopped, looked back at me, and said, “You have 10 minutes to prove me wrong." This wasn’t the only time I have encountered this lie.  And let me be fair:  he wasn’t meaning to lie to me.  But he was.  In reality, though, he was repeating a lie he believed.  There is nothing so dangerous as a lie that we believe, but is entirely false! My client was ready to leave his marriage because he believed the lie. In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I start a series on the Lies of Marriage.  These lies are things people believe (and act on, because they believe them) that are false, untrue… a lie.  But when they take on a life of their own, they unnecessarily destroy marriages. In this first episode, I tackle the lie, “If you have to work on it, the marriage is wrong.” Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Who I am and Why I do What I do The Truth About Conflict Marriage Challenges Save The Marriage System