The Stoic, the Alpha, the Know-It-All | Lewis Howes on the 9 masks men wear that sabotage long-term happiness

“Be a man.” “Man up.” “Start acting like a man.” These are things we hear all the time – in the locker room, in the media, in our own homes. We’ve been conditioned to adopt certain beliefs about what “masculinity” is, and we routinely force those ideals and expectations upon others, and upon ourselves. But what has this cost us?

In this episode, Tony’s editorial director, Ana Yoerg, sits down with entrepreneur, performance coach and host of a top-ranked podcast, Lewis Howes.

By all accounts, Lewis had always fit the cultural ideal of what a masculine man should be. He was a two-sport All-American who went on to play football professionally. He built his podcast, “The School of Greatness” into a global phenomenon. And he was becoming financially and professionally successful beyond his wildest dreams. But his soon realized that his whole identity was built on misguided beliefs about what “masculinity” was: dangerous, false ideas learned from teammates and coaches in locker rooms and stereotypes in the media. And like so many men, Lewis grew up to be angry, frustrated and always chasing something that was never enough.

So at 30 years old, Lewis began a personal journey to shed the many masks that he and so many other men wear, and to discover who he is at his core. He sought advice from some of the world’s best psychologists, doctors and household names like Tony Robbins himself. And he documented everything that he learned in his latest book – The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives.

In this episode, you will hear Lewis discuss the ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask and the man who chases wealth above all things. You will hear him talk about the cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and the destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight. And you will learn about Lewis’s own struggles with the masks he has worn, and how he has learned how to break through the walls that held them back so he could truly find himself, and ultimately, how he could find true happiness.